


Life’s too short, so I can’t wait

by Soronya



Category: Rammstein
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff and Crack, Getting Together, I tried to be funny but I failed, M/M, Mutual Pining, oblivious idiots, outsider pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23863735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soronya/pseuds/Soronya
Summary: Till is trying to focus on songwriting but Paul and Richard, oblivious to their own pining, are making his job incredibly difficult. He decides that after half a decade, maybe these two idiots need a nudge.
Relationships: Richard Kruspe/Paul Landers
Comments: 8
Kudos: 91





	Life’s too short, so I can’t wait

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I am back with another fic, this time trying the outsider POV for the first time. This fic has been finished for quite some time now, but I very impatiently waited for my Beta [Milrekki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milrekki) to finish her exams before she could go over this. Now she did and I love her for her tips! Thank you so much my dear, you know you mean a lot to me ♥ And it's finally time for you to create your Ao3 account if you read this! :)
> 
> This fic has no particular setting, but I guess in my head it took part after the LIFAD album. The title is a line from Rammstein's song "Pussy".

Till sighed.

The whole situation was becoming ridiculous to an almost obnoxious level. If it hadn’t been somewhat  _ cute _ , and he couldn’t believe himself that he used this adjective for it, Till might as well have puked in disgust. He had been watching them dance around each other for nearly half a decade and it drove him slowly crazy.

He was sitting cross-legged on the couch in their rehearsal room, scribbling down notes for a new song on a notepad. It could have been somewhat successful if it hadn’t been for the two grown-up men acting like actual teenagers sitting opposite to him. Till rolled his eyes and tried not to scream for the umpteenth time today.

When Paul giggled – yes, fuck, he honest to god  _ giggled _ – at another extremely not funny joke Richard just told, Till could only roll his eyes. He didn’t remember when this bloody behaviour had started but he really wished it’d come to an end and they’d finally fuck.

He first noticed it five years ago and back then he did have to look twice to perceive it. It had begun quite innocently and if you had blinked you would have missed it. They all had always been close and touchy, hugging and even kissing each other had never been a taboo. Also, they didn’t care about social norms or standards, so the other people’s opinions didn’t matter to them.

Because of that, Till might have taken longer than usual to realise something was off – not in a bad way, though, but still. He remembered that evening when the whole band had been sitting around a bonfire, had drunk beer and had told very inappropriate jokes that apparently had seemed to be funny at that moment. Well, their sense of humour had always been a bit childish, to be honest. By that point, Till had been more than a bit tipsy, but yet, he remembered everything of that night as if it had been yesterday.

Till had held his beer bottle in his hand, not being able to recall how many he already had had before, and had absentmindedly fumbled with the label that stuck on it. He had grinned at another dumb story Schneider just had told when his gaze had gotten stuck on Paul and Richard who had sat beside each other. 

Richard had seemed to be genuinely happy, smiling from one ear to the other, eyes shiny in the warm light of the fire. He had looked at Paul more often than necessary and whenever he had had the chance, his fingers had danced over the bare skin of Paul’s arm.

Just a quick touch, an accidental contact here and there, before he had innocently dropped his hand again. Paul had always smiled very affectionately whenever Richard’s fingers had stroked over his skin, looking at him in an endearing way and even had returned the gesture every now and when.

Funny, Till had thought, but since both of them had usually been quite handsy, he hadn’t lost a second thought about it. Although they had seemed to be _extra_ _handsy_ that day, he had mused, before he had passed out in his folding chair.

The next day, when Till had woken up, he had mostly forgotten about yesterevening. His head had ached and he had groaned as he had opened his eyes. The tour bus had smelled of spilt beer and sweat and generally so gross Till had had trouble not throwing up. Briefly, he had wondered how he had gotten from the chair to his bunk bed but then he had decided it didn’t really matter.

Especially when he had seen Paul lying on the sofa in the back of the bus, Richard sitting beside him, a hand casually placed on his bare shoulder. Paul’s hand had played with Richard’s studded belt casually, all the while both of their eyes had been closed.

Till had raised an eyebrow at that sight but hadn’t said anything.

From that point on, Till had paid more attention to the little touches and soft exchanges of affection between Richard and Paul. He had not known whether he did it on purpose or if they had only become more obvious to him because he had spotted it once. You tend to see more red cars on the streets once you start paying attention to them.

But Till soon had realised Paul and Richard really had started to touch each other more frequently, smiled more often and had started to sit so close together not even a piece of paper fitted between them. Even on stage, a place so public and for everyone to see, they had started to get handsy and when they winked at each other, Till sometimes had wondered what exactly he had been missing.

At a certain point, Till had even been sure they had already fucked. Paul and Richard had been so unambiguously ambiguous with each other that it was no longer to overlook. So he had waited for the tension between them to cool down, but quite the opposite had happened. It even had gotten  _ worse _ . Till hadn’t been able to believe that had been possible at first.

However, here he was. Five years after the first time he had witnessed their strange and always growing affection, they still danced around each other as if they had developed a weird mating ritual neither of them knew about. Except for Till. And he was sick of it.

Richard chuckled, put his hand onto Paul’s thigh and left it there. Till couldn’t avert his gaze. In fact, if he had had the power of telepathy, he would have used it to  _ bring it on _ . Let Richard’s hand wander upwards and jerk Paul off until he’d see stars just so Till wouldn’t need to suffer through this any longer.

Did they even notice themselves what they were up to or was it just that obvious to Till? Either way, they should better get their shit together in the near future or he might lose himself. It really became hard to bear and every day made it worse.

Richard started to play some riffs, jamming a bit, and Paul looked at him with glossy eyes. There was a time when they had had a challenge of whom had the evilest death stare whenever they were in the same room and Till would have never thought he’d miss these days. 

But fuck, there was no way Till could work like this, while those two love-sick men were swooning over each other probably without even realising it. Till sighed. It seemed as if he had to take the matter into his own hands if he wanted to keep his sanity.

He started to hum an upbeat melody and as Richard didn’t stop playing, he simply hummed louder. Paul frowned and when Richard finally ended his jam session, Till started to sing, purposely off-tune.

“I cannot bear this any longer, the annoyance is getting stronger. There’s nothing you need to prove, so you can make a fucking move. Because I cannot work like this, I ask you to bloody kiss. You both are making me so sick, so please just suck each other’s dick.”

Paul and Richard stared, eyes wide as saucers until they both cracked into laughter. Only Till remained serious. Of course, they wouldn’t get the broad hint.

“I hope you don’t want to use it as actual lyrics,” Richard joked.

“No,” Till said. “This was addressed directly to you.”

Richard and Paul gawked at him. 

“And before you ask: yes, I mean it exactly the way I said it,” Till added. “Get your shit together. I wanna be able to concentrate on making music again.”

“Uh,” Paul commented unintelligently and Till could clearly see him becoming uncomfortable. Richard also looked a bit baffled and his body stiffened, but apparently he could resist the urge to move away from Paul.

Till raised an eyebrow and really hoped this whole action wouldn’t backfire in the end. It was hard to deal with two lovesick guitarists who constantly flirted with each other. It would be impossible to deal with two lovesick guitarists who avoided each other if they refused to talk to each other now.

“Okay,” Till said after a long time of uncomfortable silence. “I’ll leave you two alone and once I come back you better have things sorted out.”

He got up and headed towards the door, feeling Paul’s and Richard’s gazes upon him. Wondering whether he had overstepped a line, he left the rehearsal room and went down the stairwell. For fuck’s sake, he shouldn’t feel guilty. He was Till Lindemann, it was his duty to overstep the lines here and there. And this time, it was at least for a greater good.

Till lit up a cigarette as soon as he was outside and inhaled the smoke deeply. Spring was slowly turning into summer, the sad cluster of trees bordering the roadsides of Berlin finally got green leaves again.

He smoked unhurriedly, watching some people on the other side of the pavement passing by. It was almost peaceful and it most certainly took his mind off the two idiots up in the rehearsal room. Here, he could just follow his train of thoughts, think about the perfect topic for lyrics to a certain melody. 

Till lit up a second cigarette and waited for time to pass, hoping he could go back upstairs in quite a bit. He was curious about what sight he would walk in if he was being honest. Either Paul and Richard had started to scratch each other’s eyes out or they had started a heavy make-out session on the couch.

After almost ten minutes, he started to become impatient. Nobody had ever asserted that he wasn’t curious. Quite the contrary. If Till was something, then it was being nosy and he wasn’t sorry for it, not even a bit.

Till went up the stairs and as he opened the door to the rehearsal rooms, he was greeted by a sight he very much appreciated. Paul had buried his hand in Richard’s hair, half-sitting on his lap while kissing him thoroughly. Richard’s eyes were closed and his hand lay on Paul’s ass, keeping him close.

They hadn’t even noticed Till coming in, but when he accidentally hit his toe on the small coffee table and everything that lay on that clattered, both of them looked up. Their faces were red and they seemed to be a bit out of breath, then they realised they had an audience. Paul wanted to scoot away from Richard but he held onto him.

“Oh, don’t feel disturbed by me,” Till smirked wiggling his eyebrows. “Please, continue. I’d like to watch.”

“You’re a dirty bastard,” Paul murmured but couldn’t hide the grin that crept onto his face.

“Says the man who pushes his tongue into Richard’s mouth,” Till countered. “But don’t worry, I’ll leave you alone. Just let me gather my things.”

Quickly, he picked up his few belongings and headed for the door again. They wouldn’t be able to get any songwriting done today, anyway.

“Oh,” he said, before leaving the room, “use a condom. And if I find any stains on the cushions tomorrow, I make sure you’re the ones who clean them up.”

Till stepped out of the door quickly enough to avoid getting hit by the pillow Richard threw at him. Breaking into laughter, he closed the door behind him and went home. He still thought about Richard and Paul. After all these years – who would have thought?

_ Fucking Finally. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this! I live of kudos and comments, so these are definitely always appreciated :)


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